All mothers in the world experience feelings of guilt at times in their lives. Yes, if this happens to you, it is a sign that you should give yourself an emotional break because feeling guilty is not doing yourself any favors, and neither are your children. Unless guilt is used in a constructive way to reevaluate certain aspects of your life, it is a wasted emotion that is useless.
You may tend to worry about the future and feel guilty about the past, but you need to learn to live in the now and be grateful for what you have. Here you will discover some feelings of guilt that mothers experience and how you can free yourself from them forever.
Leave your children to go to work
Some mothers feel guilty about wanting to go back to work – have an adult interaction, earn money, and grow professionally. Others feel guilty because there is simply no choice but to work a full day and leave their children at home with a babysitter or daycare.
If you go back to work because you want to or have to, put guilt aside and be present when you are with your children. Instead of thinking about being home while you’re at work, fully participate in what you’re doing. Be proactive and productive at work, then when you go home, you can focus solely on your family.
Also, if you think about it from a financial perspective, instead of punishing yourself and focusing on what you are leaving behind, think about what you are making possible for your children and the opportunities you can provide them with more income. When you are at home, focus on spending quality time with your children. Put down the phone and enjoy with your children.
Feeling like you’re failing in everything
As a mother, it is hard not to feel that you are always falling short of your own expectations: you are not cooking enough, your house is not tidy enough, you are not spending enough time with your partner and it seems that you have abandoned your children because they do not give you time to be with them as you want.
Before you feel guilty about this, ask yourself if the things you feel bad about are really worth evaluating or if you should just let them go from your mind. Is it really a big deal if you leave dirty dishes in the sink until the next morning? Instead of judging yourself for what you do wrong, sit back and think about what you are doing right and what you have accomplished that day, week, or month. You do the best you can or know how.
Also, the feeling that you are failing at everything often has more to do with peer pressure and the idea that you have to keep up with everything. This leads to unrealistic goals and expectations. If you buy your child a cake instead, you are NOT a bad mother. When setting goals, make sure they are tangible, realistic, unambivalent, and essential.
Not spending enough individual time with each child
Having a second or third baby always brings new waves of guilt, as your time is divided more than ever. This can start during pregnancy if you feel too tired to devote the same amount of energy to your child as before.
Change your perspective and think about how your child will win with his siblings. Instead of feeling bad about not having enough quality time with each child, have realistic goals for the next week, for example, "Tomorrow night I will read a bedtime story and hold my child after the baby is asleep. The next day, I will take my baby for a walk while my child is at home with Dad. "