A young child can show great and quite intense emotions . When this happens, parents, almost without realizing it, get angry with their little ones thinking that they just want to manipulate the situation. Nothing is further from reality. Children just want to convey how they feel and there is no healthier way than expressing emotions … Even if it is a bit intense at times.
Sometimes parents want a quick solution and with great emotions it takes patience and understanding that there is no magic wand. There are no magic powders to stop young children from having this behavior. Parents want to help even though they sometimes do it in the wrong element. We cannot help children when they are already angry. That is a reactive way of looking at behavior.
It is necessary for parents to help their young children with their great emotions and in this way, children, learn to understand their emotions and what is more important, to manage the intensity and control their reactions . Chase the "why" of what happens: Why did the behavior jump out of that little body? Why was he so angry? Why does this behavior keep happening? Why can’t you calm down?
Don’t miss these tips to proactively regulate great emotions. You can help your child understand and control their great emotions.
Focus on 0 to 40
The best help is when the logical brain is clicked and the emotional brain is at rest. When the emotional brain is turned on, the logical brain has to turn off . The brain cannot be both emotional and logical at the same time. So when children show great emotions, it is too late.
Kids don’t go from 0 to 60 fast, they go from 40 to 60 fast. We need to hang out at 0-40, not 40-60. Each tick or notch in the 0-40 space takes the child higher up the ladder of great emotions. We have to go on an adventure to find what causes children to climb each rung because when they reach 40 they already have a very high emotional intensity.
Small things can be the biggest
Having a morning in a hurry, forgetting about snack time, wearing the clothes your mother chose, not putting the coveted spot in line, laughing, or being told you weren’t invited to someone’s birthday party are stepping stones on the steps of the ladder causing emotional pain.
We judge how they affect children and we are generally wrong. Judging the circumstances in someone else’s life is not beneficial in solving behavior problems. Everyone feels the problems in their life differently, no matter how old they are. Perhaps what is silly to you for your child is a big problem that is causing him a lot of emotional damage.
Keep calm amidst the storm
Staying calm in the middle of a storm is difficult. .. really, very difficult. It is necessary to be aware of this when dealing with the great emotions of children. When they are in full emotional intensity what they need at that moment is for you to be by their side to calm that intensity that causes them discomfort.
Only when the storm has subsided will you be able to talk and talk about those intense emotions and seek solutions so that they do not recur in the future. You can only talk about emotions before they occur or after they have passed, but during storms you better help your little one find a safe place to shelter.