With spring, a special date is approaching in many homes, Mother’s Day . Currently, this day can be complicated for the little ones who live in a family where their parents have fallen in love again, forming a new family .
The most important thing is that both parents and children face this celebration with normality and accepting the new family circumstances to celebrate this great day with joy. More and more families in which the parents have separated by mutual agreement and both have found love again with a new partner. Or, on the contrary, others in which one of the two parents has died and the other has rebuilt his life.
We are faced with a different model from that of the classic family, but no less normal for that. Sometimes children find it difficult to understand why they do not have a classic family model, but what their parents must do is normalize the situation. And the celebration of Mother’s Day can be one more act that helps to normalize this new family situation.
How to act with your partner’s child on Mother’s Day?
The first year, it is normal for the new mother to feel a little nervous about this situation. The best thing is that you talk about it as a couple and above all, keep in mind how receptive the child is to the new situation to try to take it in the best possible way. If the child has accepted his father’s partner without further problems , they are like a new family and he accepts him without problems, you will have the peace of mind that the child accepts this day as a normal celebration even if he remembers his biological mother and not for it stops wanting it as such.
If, on the contrary, the child has not yet accepted too well that his father has a new partner and still does not see her as his mother, it is better to talk with the child to find out what he would like to do on this day , give him the opportunity to choose a family plan in which you feel comfortable and you can enjoy together without the situation being tense. On the other hand, if both biological parents have rebuilt their lives and maintain a close relationship, you can spend the day together with the children.
The most important thing is that you act in a sympathetic way with the child , understanding that he can remember his mother, that he knows that you can also be a support like his biological mother and that the child understands that there are currently many homes in which he is situation is normal. For this, it is recommended that his father have a conversation with the child where he explains and makes him understand the normality of the situation.
Avoid an awkward celebration
First of all, it is best not to have a big celebration for Mother’s Day in case the child may feel uncomfortable because he has recently lost his mother or, on the contrary, his biological parents have recently separated. As a partner of his father, you should go little by little with the child , do not be obfuscated if at first you do not get results. What you should do to see is that you are not a substitute for his mother , nor do you try to be like his friend, you must maintain a friendly cordial relationship and make the child see that you can also be another support that he may have as his father or his biological mother.
The adaptation of a child to the partner of his parents can be slow
How do children cope with celebrating Mother’s Day with their father’s partner?
In this aspect, many factors influence such as the child’s level of acceptance of his father’s new partner, age, the relationship he may have with his biological mother or how difficult the separation has been for both the parents. as for children.
The child must understand that although it is a different model from the classic family, it is not for that reason less normal since it happens in a greater number of homes and what he must understand is that his parents have not been able to be happy together and are trying be it separately . But not for this reason, the child should be an obstacle to this new life but rather a more fundamental pillar. And for that reason, their parents want them to accept their new partner and normalize the family situation with them.
The best thing in these cases is for father and son to have a conversation , in which the father explains to the child that his stepmother does not try to replace his mother, that it makes him happy and that it would make him much happier if he manages to accept her. The father must put himself in the place of his son and listen to what things may make him uncomfortable in order to avoid them.
Regarding the celebration of Mother’s Day, both of you can agree that it is what you most want to do without making it uncomfortable for anyone and being a special and happy day for everyone. Children should also try to put themselves in the situation of their parents and see that they are trying to be happy with another person. That person is not a substitute but can be another support in your life just like your biological parents.
What plans are the most appropriate depending on the situation?
If the children have accepted the new family situation without any problems and want to celebrate Mother’s Day, it is best that together you decide what you want to do or opt for a simple plan such as going to the movies, to dinner or having lunch together at the field or on the beach if the day is good. On the contrary, if children feel obliged to celebrate this day with their father’s partner without feeling like it, it is better that you do not do anything special or let them spend the day with their biological mother if this is possible. You have to be patient until they feel ready and realize that it is nothing wrong or abnormal. It is better not to force them to anything.
You can also try to have a family celebration with grandparents, uncles, cousins or friends in which children do not feel so uncomfortable sharing the celebration with more people. In short, any plan is good as long as the children do not come forced and reluctantly. You have to be patient and little by little they will realize that it is a normal situation.